Good evening friends,
Hoping that 2016 has been good to you so far.
Although I've been thinking of reviving my blog for a while now, something happened to me recently that I can't help but to share with you.
I, Charmin J. Bristol, has been told that I should lose weight. For the first time ever. But before I get into the specifics of who said it and how it affected me, I'll say this. I've long thought of it as rude and insensitive to pick at someone because of their size. As far as I know, a chemical imbalance, genetics, a thyroid disorder or even an eating disorder can contribute to anyone being obese. Some people are happy in their overweight bodies; some are willing to work hard to do something about it. Either way, I feel no one else should mention a person's weight unless they're a family member or friend in true concern for their health and unless it's said with genuine gentleness and care. It's really not your business otherwise, especially given that you're not perfect yourself.
But anyway, back to myself.
I'll give you my reasons for my approximately 30, perhaps 40 pound weight gain in the past couple of years. I moved to Georgia and always having been a foodie, I fell in love with the endless, delicious variety of restaurants. I've always found good food so pleasurable and satisfying. And I thought, "why not indulge?" since I've always had a fast metabolism. But the aging process, as I've been approaching my late thirties, has clearly slowed my metabolism significantly. And oh yeah, I live in Atlanta now. Which means no walking to work or to the store as I did for over a decade back in Cincinnati. So I'm driving everywhere and walking nowhere. No exercise at all but walking to the car. These factors alone have contributed to my weight gain, in my opinion. Despite this, my blood pressure has remained normal, I remain healthy in general, and still think I look good and an overall fabulous woman with a great personality.....except for the extra weight.
So. To the point, short and sweet. I start dating a guy who seems nice, into being fit and trim/working out. And at first, I think it's cool because what can be better than being with a guy who not only seems to like me for me, but also give me some tips and pointers on getting in shape? Not bad, Charmin. Get it girl.
Well, I guess he had been wanting to tell me that I should lose weight for a while. Despite the fact I've been making quite the effort to work out and make better eating choices, he felt obligated to tell me that I should lose weight.
After the comment was made, I initially felt shock. Because up until a couple of years ago, I had a slim yet shapely figure to die for. I delighted in my perfect body during my twenties, which always fit perfectly in single-digit dress and pant sizes. Even at a size ten in my early thirties, I felt very comfortable and happy with my body and its weight. Never a complaint from any man, ever. Brickhouse, traffic-stopping status.
Until this past week. So initially, I felt shock, but hurt feelings that I didn't expect, that I tried to ignore. Because even though I'm a few pounds overweight, aren't I still fun to be with? Isn't my intellect stimulating enough to overlook my muffin top? Do you intentionally not realize that I am going to the gym, and that progress isn't an overnight process? Although you ain't no Denzel, haven't I liked you for you?
Apparently not, for the vain and indifferent. And mind you, the comment was said to me from a place of vanity, not a place of care and concern. It was said by a man who expects perfection, while he himself is far from perfect. Words from a man who wants to be seen with a perfect dimepiece, not a woma who has a few extra pounds.
Being told that I should lose weight for the first really got the wheels turning in my head. Firstly, it signaled that I have absolutely no room in my life for a flawed guy who insists on focusing on my "flaws." I can't even begin to fathom being with a man who doesn't completely accept me for who I am. The right man will appreciate me whether I'm 116 pounds or 260 pounds. Most importantly is that I absolutely love who I am, which has gotten me through this. Chubby Charmin is pretty much the same person Skinny Charmin is. Secondly, it made me stand in the shoes of many beautiful women who weigh much more than I do who have been told that they need to lose weight all their lives. If I was in my feelings and self-esteem stung by being told once, I could only imagine the humiliation and pain of being constantly reminded of it. Thirdly, I realize that my current quest for a more fit and healthy body is only for me and me alone. And for a special man somewhere in the future who'll be crazy about me, regardless of my size.
I give many props and much respect to all and any of my friends that share their journey of getting in shape on Facebook. They're true inspirations and have definitely encouraged me to start my own journey.
For anyone who's been told to "lose weight" or called fat by someone trying to kill your spirits (in an attempt to make their sorry self feel better), I dedicate today's entry to you. Beauty on the outside is null and void and means absolutely nothing if you're not beautiful on the inside as well.
Love, Charmin
