My name is Charmin.
And I know next to nothing about football.
Try as I may, all these years, the concept just hasn't stuck within the confines of my brain.
Is it that I'm trying too hard to understand something that is supposedly very easy?
Or am I just too girly.....or better yet, uninterested?
Yes, I am that woman that doesn't get it. All the Facebook posts from female friends, posting about their favorite teams, first and downs, yardage, all these numbers, quoting stats, whatever, is lost on me.
Gimme props: I do know what touchdowns and interceptions are.
And gimme more props: I love EVERYTHING surrounding football. The competitive nature of the fans, the smack talking, the food, the beer. And especially, the men.
Basically, my only reason for wanting to learn the concept of football is to impress my future boyfriend/homie/lover/friend/husband. One more thing for him to love about me. Like the lovely couples pictured below.
It sure would be nice to actually talk about football, while it's in real time, and actually know what's going on. I no longer want to be the chick in the picture here :)
And oh yeah: just in case God decides to bless me with an athletic son or two that want to play the game. Mama's gonna wanna know what her babies are doing and how they do it. I don't want to be that mom cheering for my son when he's running in the wrong direction for a touchdown.
So. I think it's time for me to invest in a book I've wanted for a long time, Football for Dummies. Perhaps it will be the key to having the puzzle pieces of football finally connect in my head. Or maybe Holly Robinson's Peete's book.
Because all this ish is lost on me.
Or, maybe some nice handsome guy somewhere will be able to teach me. My dad, the eternal Bengals fan tried, but wasn't too successful. You rock anyway, Dad. Nice try.
So, maybe by the end of this season, I'll know what's going on. I do know enough about football to be a bandwagon Bengals fan.
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