Dear Bossy and Dominant Family and Friends, this one's gonna be hard for you to swallow.
From the family member who never has anything good to say to or about me to the coworker who thinks they're everyone's mama and boss, I've been oversaturated with Bossy and Dominant Types.
But, it's what you so desperately need to hear. After all, people typically don't approach you for fear of your anger, so-called authority or education. Unlike yourselves, some folks (me included) don't like conflict and usually try to avoid it at all costs.
But sometimes, like now...something must be said. Us non-conflict types tend to be people pleasers, putting on a mask as to not upset the domineering types. Afraid that someone's going to be mad at you or yikes! hold a grudge.
With me, those days are gone.
Here it is: stay in your lane when it comes to how other grown folks choose to govern themselves.
I know, I know. That sentence goes against everything you believe in, doesn't it? You're the boss. You were born to rule. You've got it together. People never question you. You're damn near perfect. As such, this gives you license and most of all, audacity to actually open your mouth to suggest what it is you feel another grown person should do and say. It never crosses your mind that your opinion is in fact, unwanted and believe it or not, unnecessary.
Unless a person is literally hanging off of a cliff or setting the building you're in on fire, don't interfere. Stop meddling and mind your business. If another person's actions aren't directly affecting your life, shut up. Notice I didn't insert a please in front of that because I'm not asking nicely. Yes, the former Nice Girl is telling you, S. T. F. U.
I know, I know. How dare I tell you where you stand? After all, you've conquered the realms of marriage, parenthood, career and spirituality whereas yes, I'm still figuring out my own unconventional life path. That's probably enough reason for you to think I or anyone else wants to hear your two cents. Be that as it may, I nor anyone else can say it's a bad path. Unlike you, I'm big enough to own my shortcomings, sins, and other areas I know I need to improve. The last thing I need is your opinion, thesis, or complaints on what you feel I should or shouldn't be doing. Number one, I'll find my way without your input. Number two, you're out of your place. Number three, I don't care. Number four, remember your place.
Your place, is your business and never mine. Imagine how much more you could accomplish using the energy you use trying to govern free spirits like myself, toward your own life and well-being. Your place is anywhere except about the choice I make and the things I choose to say. No one is paying my rent, bills, or student loans. No one can suggest to me what they feel I should or shouldn't do, especially as I function quite well on my own, thank you very much.
I have never, ever expected anyone to follow my rules or agree with my preferences in life. I personally don't like blonde hair on black skin. Doesn't mean I have the right to tell someone else they can't enjoy it if that's what they like. Nor do I agree with polygamy, hard drugs, or the hood life. However, if that's the life another grown person willingly chooses, I am not at liberty whatsoever to say anything about it. Furthermore, it's simply not my business. I've got enough business of my own.
"Damn, who pissed you off?" is probably the question that crossed your mind as you read that. The answer is not one particular person, but a small group of people that have unwisely come up against me in recent times. Each person was surprised yet angry that I dare mouth back at them, as if they're my authority, and not a one of them are. Hit dogs holler and if anyone is in fact offended or feels some type of way, you're precisely the person I'm speaking of. Get off of your high horse of superiority and mind your business. You hurt more than you help when you step out of the place you need to stay in. I say it on behalf of any peace-loving person who has yet to find their voice against people like you. I say it in honor of those who like me, have found their voice and realized we don't want or need your two ridiculous cents.
It all boils down to RESPECT. So many of you just expect that it'll be handed to you on a silver platter yet you refuse to give it to others. That's called a double-standard and you know I reject all double-standards. I as a former Get-Along-Girl can't take it no more. If I have to lose friends or family along the way, if I'm known as a bitch from here on out, I'll happily be that if it means I properly stood up for myself. Yes, my comfort is more important than your approval.
I'm not sorry.
Learn to be quiet for once, step back, and think out of the box. Consider that you don't know everything there is to know about the person you're attempting to control. Realize that they probably will choose a different avenue than they would of solving a problem. And because you know it all, you know it's not going to work as well or not at all because they didn't follow your instructions. So what. Worry about yourself.
Unless they're your children or significant other.....remember to always stay in your place.
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