The "blue/all lives matter" crowd seem to have changed their tune this week.....

Good evening,

Let me jump right into it. No beating around the bush.

A young, blonde, white female was killed by a black male cop in Minneapolis.

After this tragic event occurred, I could not help but notice the reactions of the usual American conservative patriots were vastly different from the reactions of the past. You know. When innocent black men, women, or children are killed by white cops.

All of a sudden, these proud American conservative patriots were not screaming "blluuuueeeeee lives matter! Hey black person! ALL lives matter!"

All of a sudden, these proud American conservative patriots aren't attacking the character of the deceased as they usually do. They're not digging up old incriminating photos or stories about her. They're not screaming, "she should've abided by the law, her parents should've raised her better, she shouldn't have resisted, BLUE LIVES MATTER TOO DAMNIT!"

All of a sudden, these proud American conservative patriots aren't standing behind the cop and his actions as they usually do, screaming that he too, has a family that he wants to go home to and live another day. Suddenly, there is no mention that this guy is a hero for handling low life scum on the street on a daily basis and that he must shoot now and ask questions later.

All of a sudden, the usual narrative is flipped upside down on its head. Because the deceased is a white blond woman, she's not referred to as a thug. And because the cop who did the shooting isn't a white man, but a black man, he is now the bad guy. It doesn't even matter that he's a part of the blue brotherhood. He killed a white woman, whether she was in the wrong or not.

It doesn't help his cause whatsoever, that he is from Somalia. A country where most people are Arabic-speaking Muslims. I mean, if there's anything that American conservative patriots could possibly hate more than American-born black people, it must be foreign-born black Muslims. After all, I've seen these conservatives whining and demanding that this cop be deported back to Somalia. But wait a minute. Don't you have to be a legal American citizen to be considered a part of the blue brotherhood? Don't the same rules apply, even if the cop in question is a black guy from Somalia?

Apparently not.

So. What am I getting at?

All I know is that, the double-standard of racism could not be more clearly blatant than it is now. Now that the the tables have turned, now that the shoe is on the other foot, there is this great big outrage and outpouring of sympathy from American conservative patriots. Their minds are simply incapable that such an atrocity happened. They lament over the fact that she was an Aussie on the verge of getting married. The outpouring of sympathy for her fiance and other family members is deep and heartfelt. After all, this scenario is quite rare and almost always never happens in America or anywhere else in the world, period. The cops typically don't shoot white women, let alone black cops. White people in America are allowed to resist and fight cops as they're being arrested. Don't believe me? Check this out.....

https://youtu.be/daVhasi95c4

In case you don't want to click on the link, it's a clip of white people with weapons who do not get killed by the cops as black people WITHOUT weapons are sometimes killed instantly.

I can't help but draw parallels as well as stark differences between this particular incident and the reactions of when black men are shot and killed by the police; whether it be for a minor crime or worse yet....being black. There are usually grieving family members left to pick up the pieces. However, the American conservative patriot squad usually whines that the "thug's family is looking for a payday," even if the deceased black man was unarmed or living life as usual/not committing a crime. What the f...??? How does money replace a dead family member? Then when the cop in question is acquitted for the umpteenth time, cleared of all and any wrongdoing, the patriots focus on those in the black community who riot. Hell, even if you choose not to riot, you're still labeled as a racist for daring to stand up and speak out on it at all. I also can't help but notice certain white people on social media smugly saying that whites aren't looting and burning up their neighborhoods over this latest incident. DUH. Of course they aren't. It's not every day that a pretty blond white woman is offed by black cops. Hell, I'm trying to remember the last time any unarmed white woman not committing a crime was killed by ANY cop.

An American nightmare? I'd love to sit with the folks and tell them what a nightmare it can be, being black in America.

But now, a precious blonde white woman is dead; the world is in shock and in mourning. A black cop killed her. Fairly or unfairly still yet remains to be seen (sound familiar?). One can only wonder what his punishment will be. Will he be forced to resign from the force or will his white counterparts, the ones who usually protect the blue, see to it that he spends time behind bars? I know better by now than to ever think he's going to get away with this scot-free as white cops do when they shoot and kill black people. If he does, I will be seriously surprised because that's not how it works in Patriotic Conservative Americaland. Black people are never to get justice or experience a fair trial. Even if you're the police serving and protecting because the hatred against black people run that deep.

I can honestly say, unlike American conservative patriots about black victims, that I'm sad about what happened to this woman and even sadder for her family. I just read about the 911 calls and it appears she walked up unexpectedly on the cop as he arrived, shooting her as a reflex. What I'm about to say may sound harsh, but I make no apologies for saying it. Maybe, just maybe certain white people will realize just how incredibly traumatizing it is, to know how it feels when a cop murders your loved one. Only in this case, it appears to have been merely an accident when black men are shot on purpose. It was an accident; but this particular cop is ripe for the crucifying. Because he's black first, a cop second.

I could say much more, but this is enough. I've learned my lesson. When a black cop kills a white woman, he's automatically a bad guy by default and his blue life doesn't matter. Throw him in jail or send him back to his country. When he kills another black person, no one bats an eye or suggests he forfeits his American citizenship. Blue lives don't matter if they're black guys or black guys from other countries doing their job apprehending or shooting whites.

Got it. Lesson learned.


-Charmin

39 and never been loved....and I hate your advice.

I can't follow society's rules; was never made nor meant to act as others act. If you tell me to do something because everyone else is doing it, chances are that I will break my neck in an attempt to do it differently from everyone else. It is just the way I was made.

I want love. Unrelenting, unfailing romantic love. That kind of love where my man is always happily showing me off. That kind of love where he is just always gazing at me with obvious happiness dancing in his eyes and in his heart. The guy who appreciated that I can be listening to harp concertos, jazz, or gospel one moment and Outkast, Three 6 Mafia and Wu-Tang the next. That man who is not so easily annoyed by me and my quirks. He would be so into me that he'd want nothing more than for me to be all up under him and appreciate the fact that it's where I want to be. I would rather have this type of love and acceptance than millions in the bank.

I hate how people expect me to act all cold and aloof, as if I shouldn't want or desire it. But lo and behold, I am but a simple flesh and blood woman who desires monogamous male companionship. I can no longer fake the funk just because I fear what people may say. I've always prided myself on being the most real and true individual I can be. I'm not here to placate others or say what they want to hear.

I honestly can't tell you why it hasn't happened for me. I am a phenomenal woman. If I went into the reasons why, I'd be typing all night. I'm not at all conceited. Just humble with self-esteem high enough to know I'm worthy of the best love any good man has to give. I am also aware of my flaws and shortcomings because I keep it real. I could go into the single man shortage, but that's pointless and another argument altogether. 

Love. I have never felt it before. At least not romantic love. There have been at least two times in the past where I thought I was in love. However, the love wasn't returned, as I didn't fit whatever mold society demands us black ladies fit. So, I don't consider myself ever having been in love because it's never been reciprocal. Despite my deep approval of myself, I just don't look like what the average black man wants on his arm. To some of the men out here, I don't have enough education (although soon this will change). To other men, I'm not slender enough. To a certain type of man, I'm just good enough for a good time. I have so much love to give; an overabundance. All I've ever wanted to do is be the reason a man wakes up in the morning; his sole reason for laughing and smiling and doing the right thing.

Never has any man living made a concerted effort to lock me down and make me his. 

Truly, I know what it is to be eternally single. Fuck fat shaming, short shaming. There's nothing quite uniquely stinging like the stigma attached to a woman of nearly 40, unattached without children. You may believe some of the things people have said to me, although it doesn't make it any more polite or thoughtful.

"That's why you ain't got no man." This is usually said with the intent of throwing salt into a wound, I guess. That sentence implies that whatever I said or did that someone didn't like, usually culminates into this. Despite many women saying or doing much worse than I do having boyfriends and husbands. It's meant to make me feel bad about myself, but I never do.

"Maybe if you changed your appearance." Really? Sorry, not sorry that you disapprove of my appearance, but I actually happen to love how I look. A lot. If a man is into me only because I'm wearing the latest fashions and in the salon once a week, perhaps he's not for me.

And of course, all of the same regurgitated advice that I hear like a broken record. I do believe most people mean well when they say it, but my goodness, it gets so tired and old. I hate hearing:

"It's going to happen for you one day." I've been hearing it for the last 20 years. Mmm hmm. I wonder if I'll be hearing the same line right before I turn fifty.

"You're way too picky." Yes, by all means, bring me a handsome yet emotionally unavailable man with four kids by five different mothers and a tendency to step out and spend time with a side piece. That'll make life so much better and pleasant for me. At least I'll be able to say I have a man, right?

"If you keep looking, you're never going to find it." Now this one actually drives me crazy because I'm almost always never looking for it. It's assumed by most that I'm actively looking. I'm the type who wants to be found, discovered by a good guy. He who finds a wife finds a good thing, right? I'm old-fashioned and would rather be pursued by a man who's into the gender role-reversal that's so prevalent these days. I hate it when people presume that I'm so pressed for a relationship that I am looking at all men like a sailor through a periscope.

Yes, I know, I know. People are just being nice and encouraging.

People have incorrectly assumed that I want a relationship solely because others are in a relationship. Never that. I want it because it's what I want. It's something I want for myself because I've been single for so long. It's something I'd want even if everyone else in the world were single.

One of the things I hate most about being single is lack of physical contact. What woman/human doesn't want hugs, kisses, cuddles and sex all of the time? More than that, I simply find myself yearning for my back to be rubbed and caressed gently with love and support. Somehow, that seems to be one of the ultimate forms of meaningful and impactful affection to me. It would mean so much and feel so good to have a strong male hand touch my back to reassure me through these stressful times that I have to endure alone. A supportive cheerleader helping me out emotionally after stressful days of work and the impending start of college.

But day after day, year after year, I go without affection.

Without love.

I'd be lying, if I told you I weren't a little bitter as a result. Because I am. I know for a certain fact that I'd be a better person if I were loved. Life would be much more tolerable, nor would I be the object of anyone's pity. I need a good man to smooth out the rough edges I've acquired as a result of being single for so long. As much as I desire to be someone's rib, I've had no choice in my life but to be independent. It also sure would be nice to be a little dependent on a good man from time to time too. Someone to help me carry my heavy groceries up three flights of stairs for once. Someone who can tell me what's wrong with my car when it acts up. Someone who would be proud and happy and feel manly helping me knock out this rent and all of the other expenses of life. Someone I can call when I'm in trouble and would drop everything to help me out. That man who can make me laugh if I cry or otherwise had a bad day. The man who can have an argument with me and not hold a grudge and still want to be by my side regardless. That man who would binge-watch Queen Sugar with me before I watch sports with him. That guy who will wake me up early on Sunday morning so we can go to church together and enjoy dinner and a movie afterward, full of laughs and good times.

That, to me, would be love. The kind I unashamedly ask for.

Maybe God will send me someone that I won't have to chase. Someone who will find me such a delightful catch that they would prevent any other man from laying claim to me. As much as my faith is low when it comes to me finding love, my faith is indeed the size of a mustard seed. A tinier-than-usual mustard seed, but a mustard seed nevertheless. I have become more than impatient with the Lord's timing. But that's between He and I.

Pray that love finds me because I'm so tired of being single. I don't want to do it anymore. It's tiresome and lonely. No amount going out with friends and family and socializing will ever change how I feel, the deep void I feel inside. I promise if a guy loves me, I'll do whatever humanly possible to make him happy. Maybe one day I'll have the pleasure of writing about how it feels to truly fall in love for the first time and experience the raw beauty and splendor of it all.

I promise.


-Charmin

Dear bitchy women: what's your secret to keeping your man?

To the Women who've always gotten their way,

I need to know your secrets.

You know. How you're able to hold on to your man, no matter how snappy, rude, or demanding you may be.

I really would love to know how you're able to raise your voice, use a firm tone, withhold sex and affection, take him for granted, and do this knowing that he'll never leave your side.

I feel like if I were more bitchy as you are, the men would fall in my lap. I'm very sweet and caring at heart. That's not ever worked in my favor, though. I've tried being the bitch. Being the bitch doesn't seem to suit me. Yet, I watch you be a bitch and get everything you ask for, without question.

Those of you who speak to your husbands and boyfriends with love and respect, these questions are not for you.

This question is for those of you who haughtily issue commands to your significant others. You women who can publicly own your man and he says "yes baby" before breaking his neck to do your bidding.

What is so wonderful about you that he tolerates your behavior? Is your pussy lined with platinum, diamonds, and honey?

What's so special about you that he willingly takes care of your kids by one or more fathers?

How are you so cold and dismissive, yet he is willing to break the bank to satisfy your every need and demand?

I'm not being funny nor attempting to be humorous. I really want to know.

I've heard it said that men love bitches. Is that who I have to be to get a man?

Furthermore, what if I don't want to be a bitch? What if I want to be sweet, nice Charmin as I've always been? Am I destined to be forever single because of it?

Let's get something straight. I don't take no junk off NO man. However, for me, that's what seems to keep them away from me; the fact that I'm not putting up with their bullshit. The moment I put my foot down, there is no admiration or engagement rings. They're out.

However, it seems that some of you not only tolerate men's bullshit but rather, they put up with yours. Why? How? Yes, I have so many questions that need answering.

I've heard that men don't like bitches: but in the words of Maury Povich, the lie detector determined "that's a lie." Men love you bitches and move quickly to lock you down. Is it that these men are weak at heart? Or are they, in fact strong men equipped to deal with your bitchiness? I guess a better question is; is his love for you that strong?

Lies, all lies!

If you have your man in check despite you having a tight firm hold on his nutsack, inform me on how you accomplish this. Some of you aren't even beautiful by society's standards....which makes me wonder even more how you pull off being an utter bitch toward your man.

Somebody help me understand. Preferably, a bitch who has a man 100% dedicated to her, her mood swings, temper tantrums and endless rules and demands.