Leaving Cincinnati: pros and cons

Yes. It is finally happening. After years of wondering if I ever would, I will be leaving Cincinnati for good in about a month's time.

As much as I've bellyached about ol' Porkopolis, I must admit there are things that I will really miss about this place. Knowing me, it's mainly restaurants and other places to eat. In no particular order, the things I will miss the most:

Burnet Woods: This has been my backyard for the past five and a half years. I love water and will miss looking at this sight outside my window daily.

United Dairy Farmers: love their cherry cordial, butter pecan, and coffee ice cream and two or three pints for three dollars.....trust me, I have eaten gallons of ice cream from here in the past two decades.

Skyline Chili: I admit to having this acquired taste, the chili, onions, cheese and mustard is a good blend. And they're better than Gold Star Chili

Izzy's: I would bet that these are some of the best tasting rubens on rye outside of New York City. The pickles are so good and I always get an extra potato pancake!

Chicago Gyros: Mmm mmm good.....their gyros, burgers, and baklava are to die for. Will be missed for sure.

The Fountain at the corner of Ludlow and Clifton Avenues: I've always thought it was a neat statue and you may get a nice spray of water on a hot day if the wind blows the right way. 

Adriatico's: some of the cheesiest, greasiest best tasting pizza around. Even the squirrels will have to agree with that.

The Crosstown Classic!

Jungle Jim's: probably the best most interesting grocery store you'll come across in the entire midwest. What it has grown into since our family first arrived in Ohio is amazing. As a kid, I always looked forward to hearing that jungle beat by the "jungle animals" outside the store.

The Taste of Cincinnati: 'nuff said. Every Memorial Day weekend. Although I missed it this past year :(

The Young and Bertke sign, seen from I-75 through downtown.......for years the tin man's arms and legs never moved. Now, they move again, see the video below :)

Alabama's: mm mm good, tiny little cramped spot with 100 people crammed into it, in a line going out of the door, trying to get some of what is probably some of the most famous fish in Cincinnati....

  

Drunk University of Cincinnati students that can be heard in the distance on my street, screaming, laughing, yelling, playing their drinking games, cussing each other out, and jumping into Burnet Lake into the wee hours of the morning.  

The DAAP Building @ U. of Cincinnati, I was once kissed outside this building a long time ago. :)

The Florence Ya'll sign: It's technically not in Cincinnati or even the state of Ohio, but you know. Anytime I traveled down south and returning home, this was often the sign of a trip made safety back.

Frisch's Big Boy: The country fried steak sandwiches, the onion rings, the salad bar, and the cheesecakes/hot fudge cakes :)

Grippo's: some good barbecue chips. The pork skins aren't too bad, either.

"Touchdown Jesus" Thou shalt not have any false idols.....nevertheless, I enjoyed seeing the pre-lightening-strike-burning-up-on-fire Touchdown Jesus coming back from travels up north....

old touchdown Jesus

Touchdown Jesus on fire

The new touchdown Jesus....well, he's not so touch-downy these day.

Donatos: I'm sure there are some fabulous pizza joints in Georgia, but I will surely miss Donatos' tasty flat crust and edge to edge toppings.....ohhhhh.......***makes note to self to stop here three times at least, before leaving the Nati***

Seeing Amish families at Cincinnati Children's. I used to feel bad for them, looking kind of overwhelmed in what has to seem like a big electricity-fueled sophisticated setting with their sick children.....not sure that I'll see too many Amish people in Georgia, let alone Atlanta. 

Riverfront Pizza: Funny, I've never tried their pizza. But I've made quite a few trips across the river to get one of their delicious fish sandwiches on rye and those crispy little chicken wings. 

Things I WILL NOT MISS

Cincinnati dudes: If the very few eligible aren't taken and locked down, the leftovers are just stupid, dumb, idiotic, unattractive, thugged out, gay, lame, or dead. The attractive ones with jobs who aren't thugs are "husbanded up with the quickness." :) 

 


Cincinnati women: Mean, narrow-minded, money-driven, club hoppin', decency-hating chickens. Yeah, I know there's hood rats aplenty in the ATL. But I won't miss the Cincinnati ones. I don't even know that these women actually hail from Cincinnati. But they certainly look like it.

Avondale: I know there's plenty of ghettos/hoods in Atlanta, but good riddance, you ghetto MF.

Richie's: Your chicken was just okay because I had an ex who loved your chicken. Otherwise, I'd put you in the same category as Taco Bell and White Castle, consume only when drunk.

LaRosa's: I think Cincinnati-born folks are programmed from birth to love this pizza. It is just aiiight. It will never come close to being as good as Adriatico's or Donato's.

Things that have always bothered me/messed with my mind, about Cincinnati:

Why IS this? Can you tell me why? LOLOL

They love their Bengals and their Reds here......no matter how completely sorry they may be. They cheer no matter what and they make it to every game. 

Cincinnati weather, or just Ohio weather in general. Horrible. Just horrible. Never seen such bipolar weather in my life. It will not be missed.

This is all I have for now, but I'll have more to add later ;)

Meet eHarmony's newest member: Charmin :)

Hello there Friends,

Thought I'd amuse you by telling you I joined eHarmony over the weekend after much hesitation and procrastination.

So there's what my the main part of my profile looks like thus far. Aren't I cute? Anyway, I can't believe I did it (read: paid for it), some three-four years after initially starting the questionnaire. Talk about procrastinating!

So far, there have been no sparks or connections, then again, I don't expect anything to happen right away. I was a little disappointed with the first few matches, but then I've had to tell myself that my membership is good for a year.

Although I am pretty optimistic about this whole thing, my first few matches have been enough to give me a good laugh or two. So far, e-Harmony has matched me with some weird-seeming characters. There's one guy holding a parakeet-looking bird , another guy wearing a hat with a huge NRA on it!, and a few guys that admit they haven't picked up a book in a while. A few don't have pics, some have really fuzzy pics, and some just look too old or whatever. 

Breathe Charmin, breathe. LOL.

Because my first thoughts were "now I know I just didn't pay for this." But I also know that good things come to those who wait. I sent a "smile" to a really cute looking, similar-tastes-to-mine type of guy all the way in San Diego, who hasn't seen that I responded quite yet. The good thing is, my subscription is good for the next year. The most fun part thus far has been the never-ending questionnaire. I think the questions, although sometimes fun and a little goofy, are very important questions and I think it's interesting how eHarmony compares your answers to the answers of your potentials. I've answered over a thousand questions already and look forward to answering more.

I'm kind of excited to see what may happen in months to come. And if I do happen to meet Mr. Good Enough on eHarmony, maybe we can be in one of those delightful commercials of theirs singing "This will be.....!" And why not be excited? E-Harmony is able to boast about creating over 500,000 successful marriages. Which is good, since I have my beautiful future wedding already planned out on Pinterest :) http://pinterest.com/charmin61078/if-i-ever-get-married/. If it gets to that point, it'll be the best $119.00 I ever spent.

I think that's pretty much all I wanted to say for now. :) Just wanted to share that. May add more later :) Wish me luck!!!!!!!!

Getting excited! About what, you ask......?

Good afternoon friends,

Hello there. I'm excited.

No, I didn't find a new man. Although that would be splendid as well, wouldn't it? I didn't hit the lottery, I didn't find a new job making tons more money, I didn't hit a lick at the new casinos.

I am simply excited for my future. What's going to happen, who's going to be in it.

Proverbs 24:14 Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.


My faith has been really growing lately, but upon reading those verses above in red, my heart just beats with happiness. Maybe it is because I know what it's like at the bottom, in a pit of hopeless despair, just wishing for life to end somehow. Or, not necessarily wishing for life's end. Just wishing for nothing at all, because I was knocked down so many times, you just expect and hope for nothing.

What a blessing it is to have moved on from that point of depression and hopelessness.

I know it sounds vague: but I know there are such big and wonderful things in store for me and my future, sometimes it puts a lump in my throat.

Life is kind of boring for me now: seems like I wake up in the morning, get ready for work, come home from work, chill out a while, go to bed, and repeat the same scenario over the next day. But even in my world of repetitive monotony, I am feeling ever so thankful to have the life I have. I have gone from It is like the Lord is keeping me safe and sound in my own personalized cocoon until he decides to send my King my way.

I have had to cut two or three people out of my life, that have always been there. It may sound harsh or cruel, but good riddance to bad rubbish. In this new realm of mine, all negative people capable of bringing troubles my way, wishing for misfortunes to knock me to my knees, and wanting friendship based on lies and deceit, must be released into Nowheresville and forgotten.

Speaking of my future King-to-be, I am feeling better and better about that situation. I feel the Lord is holding Mr. King back from me, so as to improve him and what may be going on in his life. To make him a better, stronger man so that in the future, he'll be ready to claim Charmin and turn her into a family woman.

The whole moving out of town thing: I'm putting that on the back burner for now. As tired as I am of Cincinnati. I am stable and secure and my sixth sense tells me to just stay put for the moment. Put it in God's hands, whether I stay or leave. He knows when a good time for me to leave town is, if He feels I should leave town at all. I am totally and completely at His mercy and on His good graces. I am thinking hard about that "greener grass on the other side" statement. Many other cities in this wonderful land of ours seem appealing for obvious reasons, but what much would change in my life after relocating? Other than the scenery? I will leave it up to Him. :) And I am excited to see where He will place me geographically in the next months and years to come.

That said, I think I will "pimp out" my current humble abode instead of going on a frivolous trip for my 35th birthday. The original plan was Key West or some other tropical locale with my girls, but upon deeper thought, can simply be put on hold instead of being cancelled altogether. Perhaps New Orleans or something more financially feasible. I've always yearned for the whole creole/cajun scenery, the swamps, and perhaps some eye candy? I can't forget the rich history and stories galore. Bourbon Street, hurricanes, po'boys, crawfish, and plenty of pictures. That's possibly the scenario for my birthday, now only three months away.

I am employed at a job where everyone knows my name, where I am respected and loved.

I own a vehicle which is paid for and will never be repossessed.

I live in a cozy safe home, my queendom, my sanctuary, which I rule with love and happiness.

I am on the verge of my 35th birthday, and can proudly say I am single with such a bright future full of the goodness and blessings of GOD ahead of me. I wait happily and patiently.

I am very excited, indeed.

I have so much to be excited about. :)

If you are needing hope and excitement, go no further than here http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/bible-verses-about-hope-20-uplifting-scripture-quotes/
which is the place I saw those other two uplifting bible verses.

Stay blessed.

(a pic of me at my job's wine-tasting fundraiser, Sample, Savor, and Support, looking pensive listening to the speakers).

Charmin

A letter to my future boyfriend/husband/children's father

Monday, January 7th, 2013

 

Dear future boyfriend/husband/father of my children,






Oh darling of mine. It is now a week into the new year. 2013. Yet another year without you by my side, wondering obsessively where you are. Sometimes I wonder if I know you already or if we have yet to meet. The prospect might be kind of exciting if I weren't already so single and lonely. Screw it. There may be some out there that would never admit this tidbit of information about themselves, but unfortunately I was born without the ability to lie freely and make white lie telling normalcy. You have one honest woman on your hands, lies have never felt good in my mouth. One thing that I hope you will come to love about me is that I always rely on the truth, no matter how ugly or unpleasant it will be. Why lie about it? I've been single for a long time and most of the time, I really haven't liked/embraced it. Sometimes I wonder if I will be single for the rest of my life, but to allow myself to think this is to bring on certain depression. By the time you read this, you will already know me enough to know that I'm simply a good woman hungry for love, attention, and affection. After years of people telling me that I must be patient and that you're going to arrive in my life when I least expect it, I am really, really, really tired of the single life. I mean, don't get me wrong. I enjoy my solitude and know that my life has more peace than most folks can say theirs has. But as anyone like me knows, the sound of silence all the time can be deafening after a while.

Anyway, I pine daily for you. Yearning about you which I don't know anything about. It makes me smile and my heart flutter with happiness when I think about how much joy and happiness you will bring to my life. Best of all, I know you will be God sent. Impatient as I am, I am trying my very best to wait for you when the Lord feels the time will be right. As much as I want you in my daily life, for some reason that the Lord knows and I don't, I am not ready for you quite yet. As much as I need hugs and kisses and good conversations and support in my life, He knows that there are things I must accomplish within my life before he sends you my way. What those things are, I have no idea. It took me forever to realize that I'm not in a rat race with all the world's other women to get hitched. So for once, I'm not looking for any one equation or goal to complete in my life and expecting you and your love in exchange. Once upon a time, I thought I'd have to be some sort of fucking demanding bitch or at least come off that way for a good guy like to pay attention to me. After all, I seem to be surrounded by those types of control freak women who thrive to tell everyone else to do, including an adoring man. But with me, you'll never have to deal with that, in addition to me just wanting to do all I can to make you happy. I have sat in wonderment and wonder how these types of women are able to gain and keep a man. And I've sat in even bigger wonderment of why someone so sweet and caring and non-confrontational as myself have continued to go without all these years. However, in my growing wisdom, I know that GOD is saving me for you :) and I tell you as I type this, it just makes me feel so good inside.

I often wonder everything about you, although I don't know you. Again, I wonder if you're closer to me than I'll ever realize or if you live far away. I wonder who your favorite football team is, what your favorite books and movies are, your favorite meals. Are you more on the goofy or serious side? Are you tall, short, average, muscular, or do you have a little more to love? Are you dark skinned, brown skinned, or light skinned? Or are you white? Hispanic? Asian? It is weird to be in love with a person you don't know, but I know already that I'll love everything about you. I can't wait to do all those girlfriend-ish-fiancee-wife type of things for you. I can't wait to sit in a restaurant and be in a good conversation with you well after we've finished eating. I so look forward to all the traveling and trips we'll take together. I even look forward to the times that may not be so good. Let's say you had a bad day at work. Only if you wanted to, we would talk about it, or I would just leave you alone. All I know that I would want to do is start whipping up your favorite dinner or start rubbing your feet if you do decide to talk to me about it. That is, not without cracking a beer or pouring a stiff one for you first.

 Are you in a relationship right now? Did you just get out of one? Me not knowing you yet, is hoping that you've never been married or never had kids, but then again, I am not aware of how truly wonderful you are yet. Allow me to have a selfish moment, I really do hope you have no children or ex-wives, that way I can love you fully and you can love me fully without any interruptions. I know it's far-fetched in this day and age of babymamas and babydaddies, but I want to be the one to have your first child so that we can share that experience together. But do keep in mind that if you have children, I would accept them as you have accepted me. And please forgive me for having been scarred from dating guys with kids. Unfortunately, I know all too well the feeling of being put on the backburner for children and situations with their mothers. Quite honestly, I feel like those are situations too complicated and messy for a nice woman like me to deal with, if I'm not receiving some serious love and respect in return. I've tried to be a bigger person and understand or "go along with it," but I know what I want and know what I deserve. People seem to hate me for this, but their opinions don't and never will matter, especially after I know you, my future husband, understands respects me for it.

Thanks to the societal expectations that have been pounded into my (and others') heads and every person I know settling down and/or getting married, I find myself panicking on the verge of 35 years old. You may already know (or may not) that society certainly does have their stereotypes about us women that are in our thirties without a man or children to call our own! I've been told that I'm too picky and some folks even have the nerve to get agitated when I speak of wanting to get with the right person. As if I should be just so happy living the single life, forever. I even think some people are happy that I don't have a good person in my life and even worse, there are some that feel like I don't deserve a good caring man in my life, simply because of who I am, simply because of my personality. Which I feel isn't that bad at all, given that quite a few of us have more than a few flaws. Sometimes I feel like I'm a little to nice to people and sometimes this is why I think I haven't found you, or someone like you. There was a book I was tempted to read called Why Men Love Bitches, which I gather the premise is that men love strong aggressive women that don't allow themselves to be doormats, but when all was said and done, I don't want to be a bitch. I've never been a bitch. I can definitely be a bitch, but a bitch is not who I am and who I will be. I would want my for man to love me because I'm a gentle, caring, compassionate type of woman full of laughter and sweetness. And who still refuses to be a doormat. THAT is sometimes why I feel like I don't have a special man like you in my life currently. Once guys realize that I'm not a plaything or have the game run on them, they disappear, not willing to handle the challenge of me. And that is why I can, but why I can't wait for you. I know that you won't back down from me when I gently demand my respect. A real man. I am trying so hard to sit quietly, trust in God, and wait for you. I'm trying my very best to become a better woman so that when I do finally run into you, I'll be all you ever dreamed of. We'll both feel we've hit the jackpot.

Please future husband, forgive me in advance. Because once you're in my life, I think quite some time will be spent crying in happy disbelief. I will probably just cling to you and sob my eyes out. I'm quite the sensitive one, but I'm sure the surprise will hit me much like a brick thrown at my head. I will be so happy, so thankful. I will be on my knees thanking God for finally bringing you into my life, whenever that will be. And I am on my knees now, thanking Him for not bringing you into my life sooner than He sees fit.

Maybe this will be the first of a few letters to you. It felt good to talk to you honey!

Love Always, Charmin

I have NOTHING, yet I have EVERYTHING!

Maybe blogging isn't what I should do when I feel so down and out. But I have to get my feelings out somehow. To whoever isn't blinded for hate and/or disgust with me, whoever who will listen, whoever will have some type of empathy, sympathy, or compassion that I am just so tired of this life.

No, I am not suicidal: I'm not so tired of life that I would ever end it all, but giving up seems like a relief, a respite, and a haven for my clearly broken spirit. To not care is not to worry. Not to worry, is being happy. At least that's what the formula equates in my mixed up mind.

Lately, I just don't know what will become of me or my life. I just don't know. It seems the harder I try to get on track, the harder I fall of the track. Hell, it feels like the track is falling on me.

I have always been an honest person. In fact, too honest. I just wish sometimes that I had no heart, no feelings. Life would be so much easier. I wish I didn't care at all, because I care too much. If I didn't care so much, perhaps I wouldn't hurt so bad.

Is it possible to be unhappy about every aspect of your life while still be thankful for the life you do have? I think so. Although I feel like my life is a boring hollow shell of no purpose or significance whatever, it could be a whole lot worse. I think I am just depressed from the resulting stressors of my life. Like, why can't I do better. I want to do better, but it seems impossible sometimes. What's worse is that I know people who are supposedly close to me, dismiss me as immature, irresponsible, too emotional, too opinionated, too outspoken, etc. As I write this, I stumbled onto this Bible verse that sums it up:

2 Corinthians 6:6-10

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

⁶ in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; ⁷ in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; ⁸ through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; ⁹ known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; ¹⁰ sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

Astonishing! I have absolutely NOTHING: almost twelve years at the same exact job with just about NOTHING to show for it. NO man, haven't had a man to call my own in nearly a decade. I would die for a man who wasn't ashamed to love me and be with me and seen with me, who accepts me for who I am. Let alone ever having had a relationship, ever, that I could be proud of or introduce to my family. I have NO beautiful children, a legacy to call my own. Every day I daydream about holding and loving babies of my very own, no matter how much I say I don't want the challenge of children. I don't have a huge circle of friends. I have no financial savvy. Barely making it due especially to life's unexpected or rather, expensive trials, and people wonder why, as if I live in a college degree possessing two-income household. Although I think I have nothing, I am truly learning what it means to expect suffering as a Christian. In the end, somehow, I'm going to be a stronger, better person. I think this is why I still have faith in God.

That said, I am slowly coming to the realization that I have EVERYTHING. I HAVE had the same job for over a decade, I have my health, all my five senses, a roof over my head, although most other people would suffocate in a cozy apartment the size of mine. I have all of my extremities and they're all in fine working order. The Lord allows me to swing my legs over the edge of my bed and get up to start another day. Better than that, He allows me to live a new life and gives me a new opportunity to start over at the beginning of the next day after a night of sleep, or no sleep. I have a wonderful family, although they may not like me all of the time and I often feel like the out-of-place black sheep. There have been times that I've wondered if I'm going to make it at all but the Lord has pulled me through every rough time. I feel like kicking my very own backside for not having more faith sometimes. I'm not sure if it's my own human ignorance/stupidity or Satan very hard at work. Either way, I'm making a concerted effort to have the strongest faith possible, water-tight and immune from fear, worrying, and uncertainty.

In closing, I hope you pray for me as I would pray for you. Perhaps someone else who gets depressed about the inevitable stresses of life, or the undesirable path their life has taken, will take something from my words and not only relate to me, but most of all, partake of the truth, yet the sheer goodness and the comfort of the Bible verses from Second Corinthians that I included. Through my sorrow, I am also very rejoiceful. Although I have many, many tears of disappointment, I am also happy for who I am. I've been beaten, but I'm still here. We must have faith. We must trust in GOD. I do, at least really working on it, and I hope you are too.